Embracing My New Job Title - Kristen Clark: Human Being

I'm not really sure yet what the job description is, but it's definitely fulltime, and it pays $0 an hour.

Yesterday, as I sat for 3 hours in the waiting area of the auto service area of Leith Euro Center with a dead cell phone and not ONE decent magazine, I asked myself, "What the hell am I doing? I have no idea how to be this version of myself."
Perhaps it sounds rather dramatic and I promised myself I wasn't this person, but I think I defined too much of myself by my JOB. I'd always mimic "Fight Club" and repeat, "I am not my job. I am not the money I make. I am not the things I own." But maybe I was...a little. Because now that I don't have a job and have decided to take the rest of the month off to reflect, I have no idea what to do.

All I wanted to do yesterday was get out of the house and eat lunch with Jared on his break in classes - but not more than 2 minutes from the house, I hit a massive pothole in the road and bent the front wheel of the Cooper. A normal person would angerly curse and then proceed to take care of things. Apparently, I am not normal right now, so I decided to drive home, park in the garage, and cry in the car for 20 minutes about the time and money this would cost me. I called Jared and exclaimed, "I don't know how to be this person!" And that's when Jared reminded me that 1) I was being really dramatic (me? dramatic??) and 2) I don't have to BE anything, DO anything and that my job description now is "HUMAN BEING."

Yesterday was not good, the day before that was not good. But today was good. Maggie came over and we worked on our resumes together, called HR about health benefits, walked the dogs, and shared money-saving tips. She is loving not working and is encouraging me to embrace it more.

This is all part of the plan of reshaping me for the better....and it's going to work out beautifully. I just need constant reminders, and I thank God for the people in my life that do just that.

And So We Begin.....

There's a whole lot going on in my life right now. But here are the questions that kept me awake last night: How much do Hef's girlfriends make? Is it a salary? Did Holly make more than the others? Do they get a severance package when they are dumped? It's very important that I figure these things out.....No, it isn't. However, when you fall asleep watching "The Girls Next Door" and thinking about your own job situation, it becomes very possible to toss and turn with these pertinent life questions.

With that said, I somehow made it through the night and have come out on the other side this morning - not so much caring about Hef's girlfriends anymore. (Although I might google it later...)

So, I'm writing a blog. This is new. I'm about to embark on a journey this year - I've just had my slate involuntarily wiped clean, and I face a world of possibilities. However, I think my former position at a homebuilder that will remain nameless (but sounds a little like "Poultry") has taught me what I'm good at, what I'm not so great at, and what I want out of my next career (NO MORE WEEKENDS). Resume prep, job interviews, ugh.....I'll start next week.

Alright, off to go quit the gym! That junk costs $73/month! No thanks, I have sidewalks and Taebo tapes. I'll survive.