Oh, the Sacrifices

My daughter has given me so much joy since that wonderful day she was born 5 months ago. However, last night, she robbed me of one very simple joy - watching the series finale of "Lost," my most favorite show.

The evening started out splendidly. We had had a busy day of activities, so Dakota was tired earlier than usual. Prior to 7:30pm, our scheduled starting time of the "Lost" 6-hour extravaganza, I made sure Dakota was fed, bathed, and PJ-ed. We quietly watched the first 1/2 hour of the 2-hour retrospective. At around 8pm, Dakota looked wiped out, so I took her to her nursery, put her in her "magical" swing, and she was asleep in minutes. We watched the next hour of the "Retrospective" in blissful baby-is-down-for-the-night silence. I figured that when the festivities ended at 11:30pm, I'd expertly move her from swing to crib and ease off into my own satisfying slumber of having finished watching the entire epic that is "Lost."

Everything fell apart at 9pm; coincidentally, that is when the season finale of "Lost" was to begin. Awesome. For the next 3 1/2 hours, Dakota screamed and cried with varying intensities and resisted all modes of comfort (i.e. rocking, nursing, swinging, playing, etc.) until I sacrificed my own needs (not wants, people, NEEDS) for the sake of the greater good. The greater good in that now my mother-in-law, brother-in-law, and husband could enjoy the finale in all its glorious wonder (and silence).

I fought back tears as I stared into the screaming face of this adorable devil baby. Why, of all nights, dear Dakota, do you pick this one to stay awake? Why do you hate me? Did you ever love me at all?

You may be thinking to yourself, "So, what is the big deal? You have it on DVR." I'll tell you what the big deal is. I now cannot listen to nor take part in the morning-after chatter. I freaking LOVE morning-after chatter. Every radio station on my way to work had people talking about the finale. I felt like I was in one of those romantic comedies where the guy gets dumped and then only hears love songs on every radio station. Not to mention that I have had to avoid facebook and all people who like Lost at work. It's just not right. I should be an active participant in these discussions - instead, if I hear the word "Lost," I have to run away plugging my ears and making humming sounds.

So, with that said, I now realize more than ever that my life is not my own. As I furiously flipped the radio stations on the way to work this morning, I found a song that I love to think about Dakota when I hear. It's "Spending all my Time" by Aaron Fresh:

Spending all my time lovin' you, all my time lovin' you
I need a few more seconds in my day
Spending all my time lovin' you, all my time lovin' you
Every minute's running away
From when i wake up to when i lay down
All I got is you, baby, on my brain
Spending all my time lovin' you, all my time lovin' you
25 hours in my day

I love my daughter.

Hopefully one day she'll learn how to show her love to me - by being quiet for just a few hours while I watch TV.